lookin' beyond imperfections

missing someone..
do you really now what it means?
what it feels like to miss someone so much you can barely breath?

ohhhhh i just hate it! i hate it i hate it. :( It's killing me i swear. Yeah I just can say it like him. He's so sure about it. But I just can't say it. But it has nothing to do with my feelings for him. No! it just sucks. I dont wanna lose him. He said that I won't. But why am I still got that feeling? I just dont want that. I need him so much. He means everything to me.

Ohhhhh it sucks so much. One sentence can change everything. No. One WORD can change everything. Gosh I didnt want that. I didnt know that it meant so much to him. Yeah I should've known but the mood changed so fast.. It's crazy how sad I am all the time, when he's mad. yeah often I'm mad then too, cause he's mad. But sadness would fit better in these cases. Its weird how often I have tears in my eyes, when he's mad or disappointed. I'm not the type like that. But I just feel so sad then.. 'cause he means so much to me. I dont wanna lose him and maybe I'm scared to lose him, when he's mad. thats why I'm sad. Yeah. I'm always scared to lose him, but then even more.

I just wanna be his girl, his honey, his girlfriend, his world, his heart, his everything. I just wanna be with him, talk to him, be there for him, when he needs me. I just want to be the one he needs. I just dont want to hurt or disappoint him. No. I really, really dont want to do that. But if there are expectations they can be disappointed. But I want to deliever.

I miss him so much. I really do. It's crazy. He's so important to me. I love him. I loveeeeee him. Je l'aime plus que tout au monde (:

he's disappointed and mad so often. i don't want that.
yeah, he might be overreacting sometimes. but he's right, though.
i'm hurtin' him. eventhough i don't want that. but he knows me so well.
it's crazy. it really is. he knows me perfectly.
and i guess, it would me less complicated without that beeing far away.
but i could be wrong. i just wanna see him. be with him.
just wanna know, if this is working. or not. but i want this. i want him.

actually i don't know what to think right now. its so confusing.
yeah, i believe that i love him. but it seems to be so unreal.
so fuckin' unreal.

sometimes it isnt as easy as we believed it would be..

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